Maybe you’re serious about introducing roleplay in the bedroom, or you’re just toying with the idea. A lot of couples keep role-playing in the back of their minds, but many of them don’t feel comfortable trying it. A common misconception is that roleplay is cheesy, but if you approach it correctly, it doesn’t have to be played out like a low-budget porno (unless you’re into that kind of thing).
The truth is, role-playing is fun! It can certainly help strengthen your relationship and help you feel closer to your partner. Plus, trying something new is a great way to grow in your sex life. There’s no reason your bedroom time should be stale, so if you’re hoping to spice things up a bit in the near future, here’s everything you need to know about introducing role play in the bedroom.
First, Brainstorm Scenarios
One of the biggest hurdles couples face when trying to roleplay is the fact that they can’t come up with a fantasy scenario to reenact. This can be tough, especially if each of you has your own specific fantasy. A good way to work around differing ideas of role-playing can be to find middle-ground—a scenario both of you would be comfortable doing for the first time. You can always play out your specific fantasies later on, taking turns on whose fantasy you’re acting out.
Some sexy role-play scenarios could be the following:
- Real estate agent and potential buyer
- Stripper and patron
- Flight attendant and guest
- Personal trainer and client
- Sports coach and athlete
- Football player and fan or cheerleader
- Santa Claus and a naughty girl
- Doctor/nurse and patient
- Princess and Prince Charming
- Painter and muse
- Construction worker and pedestrian
- Masseuse and client
- Butler or French maid and boss
- Repairman and homeowner
- Model and photographer
- Delivery man and homeowner
- Teacher and schoolgirl
- Police officer and criminal
- Your favorite movie (i.e. Danny and Sandy from Grease)
- Fireman and damsel in distress
- Strangers in a bar
Is that enough to get you started? Of course, role-playing is completely dependent and every couple and what you are comfortable with. Feel free to get creative with your roleplay scenario so that it fits your fantasies.
Second, Talk it out
Once you’ve decided you’re ready to try role-playing, it’s time to bring up the idea to your partner. Have a few scenarios in mind that he or she may enjoy, and look for natural ways to weave the topic into conversation.
Some easy ways to start the role-play conversation:
Hopefully, you’ll be able to get on-topic pretty easily. From there, ask your partner his or her sex scenario preferences. It’s important to show you care about his or her needs just as much as your own. Make it known that you’re in this together and no single person will be getting the better end of the stick—you scratch each other’s backs.
Third, Plan Your Playtime
When you’re both on board with some role-playing fun, it’s time to get the logistics handled. Based on the scenario you choose, you may want to purchase costumes or props. You can find some sexy men’s costumes and a ton of hot bedroom costumes for ladies at Lingerie Diva. Props are also great to add to the scene—they bring more fun and flirtatiousness! Think about what props might make sense for your role-play scenario… Handcuffs for a cop, stethoscope for a doctor/nurse, perhaps a whip for a naughty student? Some props may come as a set with your costume, but if you want to browse all your options, check out these bedroom accessories.
Besides looking and playing the part, the last phase of planning your roleplay is thinking about the location. Will you be at home in your bedroom, or should you find a more fitting location? If you choose to go the strangers-in-a-bar route, you will need to choose a bar and plan out what time you’ll be meeting each other. It is also helpful to start thinking about your character’s backstory before things get hot and heavy—you don’t want to be scrambling for ideas when you’re in the moment!
Fourth, Set Boundaries
Some role-play scenarios might require a little “punishment,” depending on your preferences. After deciding on your scenario, it’s imperative the two of you go over some ground rules and any boundaries. Tell your partner how far you’re willing to go. Establish a safe word. Be very clear about the situation so that nobody ends up feeling taken advantage of or mistreated.
Rape is one of the most common fantasies, but if you want to act out this scenario, it’s important you treat it with extra care—playtime can easily become scary if lines are crossed.
Fifth, It’s Go-Time
When it’s time to do the deed, don’t spend your day worrying about it. Getting intimate with your partner should be a fun experience, so the minute you start stressing, just remind yourself to relax. The last thing you want is to be thinking too much when you’re in the moment acting out your fantasy. Don’t worry about whether or not you’re being awkward or if you’re saying the right thing. Instead, say what you feel and go with the flow.
At the end of the day, role-playing is a very intimate connection between you and your partner, and chances are, he or she is not expecting you to give an Oscar-worthy performance. Just relax, turn on the charm, and have fun. You’ve got this!
Start browsing role play costumes if you're ready for something new.