How to Get Your Wife in the Mood for the Bedroom

March 17, 2021

how to get your wife in the mood

Bedrooms are for a lot more than sleeping. But after couples get married, life happens, and getting in the mood for anything other than sleeping can be hard.

If you want to convince your partner that x’s and o’s are better than zzz’s, you may be at a loss for what to do. 

Don’t lose sleep over it. Or, rather—do lose sleep—but for the right reasons😉

This guide will help you out with 11 tips on how to get your wife in the mood for the bedroom. 

How to Get Your Wife in the Mood: 11 Tips For Turning Your Partner On  

1. Set the scene

how to get your wife in the mood

There’s no better way to get your wife in the mood than to set it. Walking into a romantic oasis will definitely turn her on—especially if it’s an unexpected but welcomed surprise. 

While you may be tempted to go for grand romantic gestures like sprinkling rose petals on your bed and lighting a dozen candles around the room, simple things like cleaning the space can be just as—if not more—effective. (Few women enjoy getting down-and-dirty in a space that is actually dirty!)

Add personal touches so she knows it’s a heartfelt gesture, not just sexually driven. Think about what kind of flowers she likes, her favorite scents, and maybe even place her favorite chocolate treat on her pillow.  

2. Be a Good Husband

How to Get Your Wife in the Mood

One of the hottest things a man can do is listen. A man who actually hears his partner is perceived as 1000 times sexier than one that doesn't. 

“Hearing” is about more than just the words that come out of her mouth—there are many nonverbal messages she might be sending you either intentionally or unintentionally (like not being in the mood for sex, for example).

Stress is a #1 sex-drive-killer.

Rev up her engine by anticipating her needs. You shouldn’t have to be reminded to do simple things, like doing the dishes or looking after the kids.

Man up and take some stress off your woman's plate and see how much more often she's in the mood for your manhood.

3. Set up a fantasy night

How to Get Your Wife in the Mood

Everyone has a certain sexual fantasy that really turns them on: whether they’ve acted it out or not.

If you haven't already, ask your wife if she has any naughty fantasies that she really wants to do with you. Or, surprise her with the fantasy scenario she mentioned years ago—she'll be even more tickled that you remembered. (Because listening is hot, remember?)

Set up a night for her with props, costumes, or whatever else you need. If you make her fantasy come true it will certainly be a happy ending for everyone. 😉

Related: Cosplay Lingerie Looks to take Your Partner to Another World 

4. Do the little things

how to get your wife in the mood

If you want a big night with your wife, then a great way to get her in the mood is by doing the little things. Going the extra mile in simple areas can help her feel appreciated and cared for.

It may not seem like there’s a connection between bringing your wife coffee in bed in the morning and her making you happy in bed later at night, but trust us, there is. 

If you want your marriage to sizzle, cook her favorite meal. Heat up her car on cold mornings. Buy her a pair of sexy panties for no reason at all. Put her favorite show on when you're cuddling on the couch. It’s the little things that really matter.


Related: 10 Sexy & Romantic Gifts for Your Partner


5. Buy her lingerie

how to get your wife in the mood

Getting your wife in the mood for the bedroom can be as easy as spending a few minutes on Lingerie Diva’s website.

Yes, your wife wearing lingerie is a turn-on for you, but believe it or not, it probably turns her on even more! Feeling super sexy and confident can really make a woman ready to rumble (between the sheets.

Whatever you pick out for her—whether it’s a matching bra and panty set, a comfortable babydoll, or a sexy bodysuit for the bedroomshe’ll feel gorgeous in something that makes her feel like a sex kitten.

Just like when you get a new car, when you get a new piece of lingerie, you immediately want to take it for a ride 😉

Related: Buying Lingerie 101

6. Gas her up!

How to Get Your Wife in the Mood

Everyone has a different love language, whether it’s acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, physical touch, or words of affirmation.

However, there’s probably no woman alive who doesn’t like to receive genuine compliments from her man. Let her know through the day how much you care about her.

Instead of a basic "you look nice today," take it up a notch with written words. Consider leaving nice notes around the house that she can find.

Oh, and if you bought her some lingerie? Make sure to gas her up when she slips into it! 

7. Buy yourself lingerie

how to get your wife in the mood

Who says lingerie is just for ladies? There’s nothing hotter than a man who’s confident enough to pull off lingerie.

Say goodbye to your ratty old boxers that do nothing for you and hello to sexy pieces that highlight your most important attributes 🍆🍑

Whether you are looking for boxers, thongs, or robes, there are endless ways to spice up your bedroom attire. Be as simple or as scandalous as you dare!

Also, consider checking out some sex toys that will heighten her pleasure. 

Related: Men's Lingerie Shopping Guide 

8. Don't forget date nights 

how to get your wife in the mood

When you’re a married couple, it can be hard to remember that you still need to set time aside to take each other on dates. Get your wife in the mood by setting up a sexy date that requires no planning effort on her part.

Consider eating a fancy dinner by a roaring fire, arranging for a bubble bath and wine night at home, or going out to see a live show.

If you pick something exciting like salsa dancing lessons, just make sure you both have enough energy left for the finale at home! 😉

Related: 14 Romantic & Unique Date Ideas 

9. Tease Her 

how to get your wife in the mood

When we were kids, if a boy teased a girl, it meant they liked them. The same thing is true now, but the teasing is very different! 

Tease your wife by flirting with her throughout the day, kissing her neck, slowly touching her. Then, stop before going too far.

You’ll drive her so crazy with lust by the time night rolls around, she’ll be more than ready for some fun in the bedroom.


10. Enjoy aphrodisiacs

how to get your wife in the mood

Turn your wife on by making a dinner that features only aphrodisiacs like chocolate, papaya, oysters, honey, and avocado. Complement the meal with some more potent aphrodisiacs like wine, and if you live in a state where it’s legal, weed. 

Not only will it make for a very romantic dinner, it will also make your wife lustful and in the mood for bedroom shenanigans.

11. Have a heart-to-heart with your wife

how to get your wife in the mood

If your wife really just isn’t in the mood for sex then something deeper may be going on.

Check-in with her to see how she's feeling and if she's struggling with anything. It will strengthen your relationship to listen to her and help her try to work through what she has going on. 

Use the above tips and some amazing lingerie to get your wife in the mood for the bedroom. Trust us, these tips will pay off in the best way possible!

→ Shop Sexy Lingerie

Helen Lewis
Helen Lewis

Also in Lingerie Diva Blog

A Beginner's Guide to Sexy Lingerie: How to Choose the Perfect Set
A Beginner's Guide to Sexy Lingerie: How to Choose the Perfect Set

April 18, 2024

Sexy Valentine's Day Lingerie
The Ultimate Valentine's Day Lingerie Shopping Guide

January 26, 2024

If you’re looking to add a sensual element to your Valentine’s Day by buying Valentine’s Day lingerie for your partner or for yourself, this is the right place to start!
How to Choose Comfortable Lingerie You'll Actually Want to Wear
How to Choose Comfortable Lingerie You'll Actually Want to Wear

January 19, 2024